Making him happy
by John Nygma
Summary: Oswald feels a little worn out so Edward tries to get him into a better mood again. This involves a set full of knives and one of the house servants tied to a chair... They decide to have some fun


**Making him happy**

"You don't look so good, Oswald." Edward tilted his head as he put down his coffee mug.

They were sitting at the breakfast table in the mansion, the mayor's office wouldn't need Oswald Cobblepot for another two hours. But now the mayor sighed and pushed aside his plate from which he had only eaten a few bites.

"Being the mayor isn't always as exciting as it sounds, Ed." Oswald replied.

"But this is what you wanted, isn't it? You finally rule Gotham."

"Yeah, yeah.." Oswald waved the words away. "Sometimes I just…" He sighed again and leaned on his cane as he moved uncomfortably in his chair. "I miss doing the things I used to do so often, having fun without bothering about anything like office hours and papers." A smile of memory faded across his face. "Do you remember Leonard, Ed?"

Both men laughed. But Edward noticed a strangely sad and empty look in Oswald's eyes, but he kept quiet and observed him.

'I know what you're thinking.' a voice, very much like his own, whispered into his ear and Edward had to try hard not to turn around. 'Why not? It has been quite some time for you too, it would be nice to have some fun again.' An amused dark laugh came from his alter-ego.

Edward shook his head but then he looked at Oswald again, who was lost in thought, and then he saw himself behind him.

'Look at him.' Edward's calmer, darker imagination said. 'I know you want to make him feel better. And I know that you know what you want to do. Come on!' He laughed enthusiastically. 'Go on and have some fun. I'm sure little Penguin here would enjoy it too.'

Edward had listened closely and even though he was nervous he slowly found himself smiling.

"Ed?" Slightly confused Oswald looked at his chief of staff. "Why are you smiling?"

Edward emptied his cup of coffee and his grin widened then he turned his head to Oswald.

"Do you think you could possibly spare one of your house servants?"

Only minutes later they were in a secure, isolated room of the house, in front of them was one of the kitchen helps gagged and tied to a chair.

"I'm sorry, Philip." said Oswald. "But you were sloppy with the cleaning too often and I need to blow off some steam…" He sighed theatrically as Philip shook his head frantically.

Oswald and Edward laughed, which only seemed to scare Philip even more because he wobbled around on his chair while mumbling unclearly until he eventually fell over.

"Oh dear" said Edward and walked over. "Ah well, that can sometimes happen." He put the chair with Philip back up. "Now, keep still" he advised politely.

Philip desperately said something but his words were swallowed by the cloth.

"What was that?" Edward freed Philip's mouth for a moment.

"Wh- What a- are you gonna do to me?" He saw the two men exchanging a glance. "What's gonna happen with me?!"

Edward grinned. "What has its eye on us the moment we're born, can be with us at any time and yet we fear it?"

Philip stared at him. "Wh- What-?!"

"Sorry" said Oswald and stepped closer. "He loves his little riddles."

"Death" Edward explained happily. "The answer is death."

Oswald only smiled politely while Philip's eyes widened in shock.

"It means you're going to die." added Edward and he and Oswald grinned at each other.

"You're crazy!" Philip shouted. "Both of you! What the-"

"Sh, sh, sh" hushed Edward and gagged the man again. He gave Oswald an apologetic look but he didn't seem to mind.

"So!" he said instead and a devilish expression came over his face. "What exactly did you have in mind?"

First Edward looked at him and then to the table in the room; there he saw himself, without glasses, smiling and rubbing his hands. Edward chuckled to himself then he went over to the table on which was a toolset that he now unrolled with one swift move. All sorts of knives, blades and otherwise sharp objects now lay in front of them, an ensemble of death and torture to choose from.

"Oh Ed!" Oswald's eyes lightened up in delight as he stepped closer. He looked over the tools and then smiled at Edward with an expression of satisfaction. "You do always know what's best for me, don't you?"

Edward waved his hands in modesty. "I simply want to ensure your happiness and well-being."

Both men avoided each other's eyes for a moment, but thanks to Philip's mumbling in the background their attention was quickly focused on something else again. Oswald turned around to him, thought for a second then he took one of the knives from the toolset.

"How about something simple first?" He limped over to Philip and now all he did was smirk as the man on the chair fought with his ties.

Edward had remained at the table and observed Oswald as he bowed over Philip. First he only grinned then he saw Oswald raise the blade and heard Philip scream and then he broke out into laughter. Blood dripped from Philip's ears which now fell to the ground. Edward could feel an exhilarating tickling sensation wandering down his spine and he too stepped closer now. Oswald was breathing heavily with a wild grin, his hands were bloody.

"Oh, I missed this, Ed!" he chuckled.

Edward only nodded, he couldn't take his eyes of Oswald's face as he still felt this strange sensation. This right there was the look and aura he had always admired about "the Penguin" Oswald Cobblepot, this was why there were here together now.

"Do you mind if I have a go?" he eventually asked.

"Oh please! Be my guest!" Oswald said and handed him the knife.

They exchanged a deadly smile then Edward attended Philip's health.

It didn't take long until Philip had lost consciousness. Edward was just taking his pulse and said:

"He's still here."

Oswald checked his watch. "Then I believe we should wrap this up, wouldn't you agree, Ed?"

The taller one smiled and nodded. For a moment Oswald looked into his eyes and got lost in thought.

"You always know how to make me happy…"

Edward didn't respond, he remained motionless for a second then he shook Philip and gently slapped his cheeks until the man on the chair opened his eyes.

"Time to say good-bye." Edward said.

Philip felt weak, numb but as he saw himself and the two men in front of him covered in his own blood he shrieked one more time. Oswald grabbed the knife from Edward's hand, grinned and then slashed Philip's throat. Blood sprayed from the vessels onto Oswald and Edward, an aura of thrilling pleasure dominated the atmosphere.

Oswald looked at Edward with shiny eyes then he walked over to him. He pulled the taller man down by his tie and kissed him. On Edward's lips he could taste the blood which made him lean into the kiss even more eagerly.

They moved apart, Edward looked surprised but he could not help but beam.

"Thank you" Oswald whispered before he stepped back and put the bloody knife back into Edward's hand and walked towards the door. "We should do this more often."


End file.
